Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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