In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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