Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
