Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
