hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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