i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
