i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made out with two different species that night
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize