Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
