when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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