Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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