Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
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They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
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How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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