Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
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We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
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The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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