We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
