ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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