im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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