i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Edward fifth and chaser hands
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
