i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
