I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
