i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
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I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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