i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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