Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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