Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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