we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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