If i come over, it means nothing
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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