Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
