3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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