soooo we both peed the bed last night...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just pee around me
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
