Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
