Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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