guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
