I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
