Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize