I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
