never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
