Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize
