Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
