is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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