How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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