We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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