I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize