I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I did not marry a roomba.
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