I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
so explain again why im purple
no
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
