Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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