who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
