if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Randomize
