omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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