Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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