is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
