If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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