i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
