Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
