thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
