you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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