So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
