I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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