I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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