I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
