I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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