you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
