so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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