i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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