He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
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I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
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i need to put some appletini on your dick
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend