You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
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No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk