Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on

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(443): View more from Maryland

Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(586): View more from Michigan

Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"

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(818): View more from California

So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth

(323): View more from California

Gross

(818): View more from California

AN ACTUAL PICKLE

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.

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