Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back