the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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