I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
