I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
